I'm looking for a red light...am I on candid camera?

Confession: I don't wash my car as often as I should. There-I said it. During the winter I have a "what's the point" attitude. It's embarrassing, but true. Combine the constant inversion, the snow, and the endless salt on the road-it's all very hard to keep up with so, really, what is the point? All that said, I still know I should do it. Saturday was the day. I went over to one of those car washes where you drop the coins in a slot and all of a sudden feel like you're in the race of your life...trying to show the clock that you can, in fact, get your wax and spot-free rinse in without forking over the extra money for more time. The sun was out on Saturday and when I drove up I discovered that I wasn't the only one that had the car wash idea. It was busy. More busy than I've seen it for a long time. I waited patiently in line for my turn. Before I go any further, I should tell you that it's been a long time since I've used one of these car washes....and I tend to get a little nervous as I drop those quarters in the slot and start the countdown. I should've taken a little more time reading or reminding myself of the order these car washes go in. But no, I thought, there are only two tools-a sprayer and a scrub brush...and who doesn't know that soap comes before wax, or rinse comes after scrub. Several times of my sister Kris suckering me into coming and helping her wash her car flooded into my mind. I all of a sudden became confident that I remembered what I was doing and the race was on-my 4 minutes to complete the task had begun. I pushed the soap button and went straight for the scrub brush-mistake #1. I was scrubbing for a good 20 seconds when I realized I was using the wrong tool. While no suds and not even a drip of water was coming out of the brush, the sprayer was going off like crazy...it just took me a little bit to notice. sigh. So, I grab the sprayer, soap the car down and decide to try the scrub brush again-mistake #2. I put the setting on scrub, so I knew I was matching the right tool with the right setting this time. I ran over, grabbed the brush and started scrubbing. I was putting a good amount of effort into it with the same result as the last time...no suds. I was getting frustrated. What was the deal? I knew I had the right tool...I could here the hissing of the stuff in the hose. I looked down on the ground and noticed a large pile of blue suds sitting there. I quickly looked back to discover a leak. There was a break in the joint between the hose and the actual brush- suds was going everywhere! It was spraying all over me, but somehow I didn't notice. Suds is a quiet killer because you don't feel like you're getting wet and it doesn't make a splashing noise when it hits the ground-how was I to know? I immediately thought of the car wash line that had now turned into a drive-in and I was the star of the show. Being all to aware of the line, I found myself just trying to act like I knew exactly what was happening and tried to cover. Total Ellen Degeneras moment. I acted frustrated that I couldn't get the hose to work right and gripped the leaking part of the hose to direct suds out of the brush. Without actually experiencing this phase of the car wash, it's hard to know just how awkward that can be when you're trying to deep scrub your car. After the scrub down I was in a mad dash to fit in the rinse, wax and spot-free rinse with a minute and a half remaining. I did my best while getting completely tangled in the hoses hanging from the ceiling. 1 minute remaining and the thing starts beeping like it's mocking me. Don't you think that you'd stay more calm and in control if the thing didn't beep? While I realize it's a good indicator of time, I go into panic mode. All of a sudden I'm acting like a bomb is going to go off and the only thing that will save us is me finishing my car wash. I ran out of time with only half of the spot-free rinse done, but quite honestly, I was relieved it was over. I put the sprayer back in it's holder and turned to walk back to my car. My relief of the uncomfortable experience being over with was just premature celebration. What I didn't know is that I had forgotten the finale to my embarrassing show. I turned around, b-lining for my car and completely tripped on the hose hanging down. This was not an un-even sidewalk trip...oh, no....this was a "galloping...lucky I didn't fall on the ground, but might as well have for how big it was" trip. I regained my footing and walked back to my car. What I would've given to be one of the audience members for that car wash. I laughed all the way home. I don't mind being that kind of entertainment for people because I know if I had seen myself I would've been laughing too. Overall, the car wash was a success-it looked beautiful by the time I was done with it.